Why I chose not to birth in the system…

Disclaimer: I value and appreciate the work of all midwives working in the system. I understand that they are doing their best within a medicalised system which does not always cater to women-centred care.

I recently birthed my third baby, in the comfort of my home. As I reflect on all three pregnancies, I can truly say that the trust for my body and my baby grew with each pregnancy.

I thought I trusted my intuition with my first, then I fell pregnant with my second and realised how much fear I had with my first pregnancy. And now with my third pregnancy, I realised how much fear I held on to as a midwife who worked and trained in the maternity system, with my first two.

This time around, it was different. I had a clear vision in my mind and knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to birth at home.

No interventions.

No interruptions.

No change in environment mid labour.

Just me and my support team, in the comfort of my home.

Although my first two were not traumatic experiences, there were still a couple of interferences which stopped me from birthing the way I wanted to. This was enough for me to decide that a hospital birth wasn’t for me third time around.

I searched high and low for a private midwife that would align with my values and wishes. It’s important to ask questions and not assume that all private midwives will support what you want.

Here are some questions you may want to ask your provider, whether they are public or private?

• What are your views on going past 40-42 weeks gestation?
• Will you support me if I go over 42 weeks?
• Will you support my wishes to birth in a certain environment/position?
• What are your views on the length of labour?
• Will you support my body in a true physiological labour and birth, no matter how long it takes?
• What are your views on fetal monitoring? If different than your wishes, will you support my wishes of monitoring?
• Will you help me implement different strategies and techniques to aid my labour and birth?

These are just some questions you may want to ask your providers. As your pregnancy progresses, always ensure you are communicating your wishes to ensure your labour and birth goes as smoothly as possible.

Lots of love,
Kamile.